When a Dream is Not a Dream

By Michelle

For most of my adult life I have worked in the airline industry. I am the single mother of a son who is on disability and I also care for my elderly father. I am active in my community involving both social and political issues. My abduction experiences span my 50+ year lifetime.

It has been a few years since my last conscious memory of something extraordinary happening in my life. I don’t claim to understand what has happened to me or why it has happened. I know that many prosaic explanations have been proposed and accepted by the mainstream. These explanations run the gamut from sleep paralysis and night terrors to psychosis and fame-seeking individuals, trying for their 15 minutes. Despite the fact that some reports may fit into these categories, a large number still defy explanation.

I have been asked many times if it's possible that I have imagined my experiences or if they are just the result of dreams or sleep disorders. I can understand why these questions are raised. Until you have experienced it yourself, it is difficult to imagine that these bizarre episodes may be real. If the only evidence was my memory of the encounter, I might agree; however, there are certain physical manifestations of the abduction phenomenon that cannot be ignored.

Since 1994, I have had a few instances of puncture-like bruises associated with a conscious abduction memory. These marks are consistently the same shape and size (round, nickel-sized) and there are always two such marks spaced approximately two inches apart. They have appeared on both my upper thigh and on my arm.

The first episode I have chosen to share still haunts me to this day. During the dark of night, I was awakened very suddenly from a sound sleep by the terrible, violent shaking of my bed and my body. My initial thought was that I was experiencing an earthquake, which I quickly rejected. I could not see anything, and I was unsure of whether it was the lack of light or if my eyes were closed. If it was the latter, I can only surmise that my fear was so great I was afraid to confront whatever was in front of me. I was laying on my right side with my legs extending straight out, perpendicularly, over the edge of the bed. Abruptly, I felt my body being pulled from the bed by my legs, some sort of unseen force in use. I don’t recall any sensation of another’s touch on my legs.

As I sit here and type this, the fear returns. I can still vividly recall the feel of the friction the sheet caused against my skin as my body was dragged across it. It was with a swift understanding this particular realization hit and I knew I was awake and this was really happening! I turned my upper body and grabbed for the bedpost to anchor myself. It was at this point I lost consciousness.

Upon awakening the next day, I had no memory of this having happened. Later on in the evening while on a telephone call, I happened to notice two very prominent marks on my thigh. The sight of these marks triggered a flood of terrifying memories from the night before. I was visibly shaking and had to end the telephone call.

By the next day, I had come to the decision to face this head on. I was examined by my doctor and he concurred that the marks on my thigh appeared to be caused by punctures. When asked how I got them, I related my memory. He immediately recommended I see a psychiatrist.

During the visit with the psychiatrist, I related what I had remembered happening that night. His answer was that it was sleep paralysis and/or night terrors. I asked him if he thought I was psychotic or neurotic and his response was no. I also asked him how puncture marks were related to the diagnosis of sleep disorders, and he had no response.

Therein lies the mystery to this experience. No one has been able to offer me a valid explanation of how those puncture marks found their way to my thigh. Yes, I could have caused the affliction myself, but for what purpose? Although I was certainly terrified, I was not paralyzed. Other than the puncture marks, the mark of reality for me was the tactile feel of the sheet as my skin traveled across it; small, but significant evidence in my eyes.

Another Experience

Another event after which these marks were visible is probably one of the most bizarre I have consciously recalled to date. I had retired to bed but was not yet asleep. The lights were off and I was listening to a radio program. Suddenly, I heard a loud, roaring sound like a waterfall in my head. A tingling feeling, almost electric, started at my head and I could feel it extend down my body. I immediately had the thought, "I know what this is!" 

I made a decision to try and stay conscious in order to fight it. My body had a feeling of weightlessness, yet my limbs felt too heavy to move. It felt as if my body was floating off the bed and started to turn in a clock-wise direction. At one point the view of my surroundings was as if my head was at the foot of my bed. It continued to turn until my head was back at the headboard. It was at this point that I witnessed a most astonishing sight!

To the right of my bed, a small, very slender, dark gray hand started to extend from thin air. It looked as if the hand was coming out from behind an invisible wall or through an invisible portal. As I watched, the arm attached to the hand became visible. I got very angry! I tried to yell, but couldn't so I yelled in my head, "Get out of here!" Instantly, I felt I had control over my body once again. I then did something that, to this day, I can't explain. I reached and grabbed for the arm. It felt dry and brittle and fragile, as if I could snap it in two pieces if any pressure was exerted. As soon as I did this...poof! The arm disappeared.

In a normal situation, I would think an experience such as this would cause a person to jump up from bed and frantically turn on all the lights while screaming their heads off. What did I do?  I congratulated myself for stopping the invasive episode and immediately started to drift off to sleep.  What happened next is still unclear in my mind. It felt very dreamlike. I started to hear the roaring sound again and it's as if the whole sequence started all over. This seemed to happen at least two more times that night.

Upon awakening the next morning, I recalled what had transpired the night before, confident that I had overcome whatever had almost occurred. My confidence was short lived however. Upon showering that morning, I spied a mark on my upper arm. This confused me, though. It appeared to be the same type of mark that I had gotten before, but there were always two marks together. As I continued to bathe, I found the second mark. It became quite visible when my arm was bent at the elbow. The marks lined up and formed the same pattern I had seen three times previously.

If this was the only instance of an unexplained episode in my life, I might agree that it was all in my head or a made up fantasy, but there have been other experiences during my lifetime. I have chosen to continue living my life as best I can and I refuse to let these experiences define who I am. This does not mean that I have stopped searching for answers. My search will continue, but will no longer rule my life because it is but a part of who I am. © 2010 by Michelle