The Michigan MUFON Newsletter

The Alien Jigsaw
by Kay Wilson

In 1987, when I was twenty-seven years old, I became consciously aware of the alien presence in my life. I was overcome with anxiety and fear due to my inability to understand what was happening to me and why. Government and religion produced a culture that prohibited me from understanding what was occurring (TAJ page 291).

Thus from a courageous book about one person's struggle to come to terms with probably the most incredible thing possible: the forceful intrusion of an alien presence and agenda upon one's life and very self.

Although several excellent books had been published on the abduction phenomenon, I seemed to be remembering events that had not been included in published case histories of mainstream UFO abductees. These memories left me feeling somewhat alienated (TAJ Page 15).

Ms. Wilson has written this book to help other people in similar circumstances as herself, realize that they are truly not alone, that the "alien" element in their lives need not "alienate" them from the rest of humanity, and certainly not from other abductees.

The Alien Jigsaw is a courageous book by a courageous person in a matter-of-fact way about her gradual realization that she was an abductee, about her abduction and abduction-related experiences, and about her evolving understanding of the phenomenon and its implications; both for her personal existence and for the wider concern of the globe.

Wilson's experiences and perspectives on these matters are both sensible and needed. She falls, it seems to me, rather in the middle of a varied and confusing spectrum of beliefs on abductions. Wilson does not possess the urgent belief of a Richard Boylan that the "experiencer" phenomenon is almost completely a positive benefit to the individual and to humanity. On the other hand, the reader of The Alien Jigsaw does not derive the sense of negativity one gets from going through the medical sections of David Jacob's Secret Life.

I have had positive, as well as neutral and negative abduction experiences. Many different types of alien Beings have chosen to interact with me. Many different types of aliens have actually experimented on me. Even though I was treated far better than any lab or food animal on our planet, I still found several of my abduction experiences difficult to endure (TAJ page 20).

Ms. Wilson claims no absolute certainty that she understands what is going on, as one will find in any number of "contactee" wannabees, or those who view the phenomenon exclusively from a religious position or from a secret U.S./alien military base conspiracy perspective. Yet, Wilson also seems just as far removed from the Karla Turner thesis. Turner seems to feel that, since the abductors control totally the abductee's situation and knowledge, then everything we think we know must be completely suspect. Wilson believes in the possibility of real knowledge about abductions.

On the matter of whether this phenomenon is "good" or "bad" in human terms, Wilson has a characteristically matter-of-fact view:

Sadly, and what is most amazing to me in all of this, are the "believers" who ridicule or do not believe abductees simply because they do not agree with how our experiences make us feel. I wonder if it has ever occurred to anyone that the aliens may have "control groups." Some individuals may be subjected only to positive stimuli; others may be subjected to only negative stimuli; and a third group may be subjected to both positive and negative stimuli; and a fourth group may be subjected only to neutral stimuli. What a great disservice we do to one another by labeling and attacking each other because we have had different types of experiences. I am happy for those experiencers who have had only positive abduction experiences. You give me hope. I feel a great sadness for those abductees who have only had negative experiences, and I can relate, somewhat, to both groups of individuals (TAJ page 291).

Ms. Wilson's story begins with a reasonable happy childhood and a disastrous first marriage to a [mentally] abusive husband. Some odd early experiences are recounted, including a strange drive with her father on I-65 in February 1981. They found themselves surrounded by a fog and then a herd of odd deer which Wilson now believes were gray or tan-skinned aliens using "camouflage," her preferred term for what other researchers call "screen memory."

During her first marriage Ms. Wilson began experiencing strange feelings of anxiety, then terrible memories (pp. 36f). Today she thinks her anxieties and the behavior of her first husband were caused by her alien encounters (p. 39). Nightly dreams which Wilson came to believe were somehow real memories increased, as recorded in journals she kept during that time and ever since, except for essentially a one-year hiatus more recently, as a recent article in the MUFON UFO Journal indicates. On the weekend on July 4th of 1987, Wilson read the book Intruders by Budd Hopkins. Although she had not had much interest in science fiction or UFOs prior to this, "what bothered me most about this book was feeling as if I was reading about myself" (p. 45).

On September 12th of 1987, Ms. Wilson was abducted; this and a questionnaire in the November/December issue of Omni Magazine led her to write to Budd Hopkins in November of that year (pp. 46f). It was not until late April of 1988 that she finally met Hopkins, began hypnotic regressions, and initiated the process of actively investigating her subsequent "dreams" as the recollections of real events.

Most of The Alien Jigsaw deals with Ms. Wilson's journal entries about these "dream memories," and some may view these recollections as less believable than the constructs of regressive hypnosis or things spontaneously remembered while conscious. But it's worth mentioning that one abductee gasped when she flipped through this book for the first time, for she recognized three of Wilson's drawings of very specific objects and beings as exact duplicates of things she had herself drawn, one month before purchasing the book. She had neither seen nor read about these in any books nor heard them mentioned in any such conversations, videos, or any other source. That such unusual and identical things were perceived independently by two abductees argues for taking Wilson's "dream memories" seriously.

Wilson does report data from her hypnosis sessions and from conscious memories; their texture seems consistent with the dream-produced material. Whether these dreams are abductions or abduction-related events, they help create a rich body of information about various alien types and techniques-deception, teaching dreams, visions, holographic representations (p 280), and role-playing activities among them. Whether this information and these experiences are real in the objective sense, readers will have to evaluate on their own. Ms. Wilson does not ask one to believe any of this, but she does feel her information and perspectives are worthy of consideration, and in these opinions she surely is correct.

As most of these entries are journal summaries of dream recollections, the chapters and story do not always have a tight focus. This and a certain dryness at times will dissatisfy some readers. Some will have difficulty with the source of the material as we have noted above; it seems less solid than the highly controversial memories released through regressive hypnosis. The matter-of-fact manner of Wilson's narrative tends to cloud the fact that what she is talking about is basically unbelievable, at least to many people.

I had some problem with the stylistic use of the term "crafts" as plural for "craft." But these points understood, The Alien Jigsaw is an important contribution to the field of abductology and toward abductees understanding and learning to cope with, and eventually to work through and rise above, their predicaments. The human spirit is potentially the most attractive quality we have going for us as a species, even if self-delusion is our worst sin, as Ms. Wilson feels. Her book exemplifies this ultimate strength in an effective and understated way which is all the more powerful for its being so matter-of-fact.

Wilson was subject to many of the medical procedures recounted in Jacob's Secret Life (pp. 279f).

It is somehow permissible to cause all of this pain for the greater good. Somehow, it will all be worth it in the end...I knew in my heart that all of this was being done for the greater good. What I often wonder today, now that I have distanced myself from this experience in an emotional sense is whose greater good is this being done for? (TAJ page. 156f).

As these remarks show, Wilson is uncertain about the end purpose or purposes of the alien agenda. On page 166, she recognizes that there are apparently "bad," as well as "good," aliens doing different things to humans. She considers the likelihood that aliens might be using positive messages as a means of control (p. 181). But she seems to accept the notion that she and a particular seven-foot-tall "Diplomat" share the same "positive, extremely important, and long-term" common goal, based upon a strong "feeling" that she has (p. 203). Yet, she also mentions cases of "mental torture," and says, "In my mind, there is no excuse or reason for this type of imagery to be forced into a person's mind by 'good' Beings" (p. 256).

Clearly, the view Wilson has of the abduction phenomenon is mixed, And though "logic" may be a hard concept to promote in a field so at variance with what we know as "common" life, perhaps it is logical that there should be "good" and "bad" aliens, or more likely beings whose agendas fall into an area as gray as some of their skins, impossible to evaluate in human terms. If this is true, then it's a far richer, more wonderful, and more complicated Universe than humans have been comfortable with for millennia, and we had better get used to it.

Whatever the plans and actions of the apparent aliens in our lives, the "ontological shock," the "paradigm-busting reality" that abductions and the larger alien experience forces upon us, are stresses that can cause great psychic damage. We need to plan how we are going to face that knowledge, if and when it comes, both as individuals and as a species.

Wilson thinks with Hopkins that a massive breeding program is afoot (p. 280), and accepts the possibility that her own physiology is being altered by the aliens, for whatever purpose. In 1992, the government and military became a theme in her abduction experiences (Chapter 11, pp. 205 f). In this regard Wilson's good sense compels her to consider that the aliens may want us to think the government is somehow behind all this (p. 283). She does think that "UFO studies, alien abductions, and government alien bases are the most closely guarded secret our government has. They very well could fall into the top three most important black projects our government is currently working on" (p. 283). She tells of feelings of impending doom she sometimes gets from and has after abduction experiences (Chapter 16, pp. 287f). Regarding the latter she says:

I am positive catastrophic Earth changes are going to happen, because of what history and science has taught me. As far as the prediction of Earth changes by psychics, abductees, or aliens, interpretation is everything. It would be interesting to have the visual images and physical descriptions put in writing by people who predict Earth changes. This would give many different people the opportunity to read the information and interpret it themselves. In this way, the information might yield different conclusions. If we all arrived at the same conclusions independently, there might be more emphasis put on the predictions of Earth changes. (TAJ page 288).

In a strong two pages (Chapter 17, pp. 289f), Wilson discusses her views on the inhumane treatment of animals by humans. She suggests (p. 289) that humans who complain about the treatment meted out by alien abductors often have double standards, because they "believe that animals' lives are not as important as humans' lives. If you agree with these statements, then think about this possibility: perhaps humans' lives are not as important as the aliens' lives." When one pauses for a moment to consider the latest local, national and international news, one wonders whether humans' lives even mean that much to many humans. You may not agree with what Wilson thinks about a particular issue, but you do need to understand her viewpoints.

This is not a book focused on the philosophical implications of alien abductions, as John Mack's work. Nor is The Alien Jigsaw simply a more straightforward account of one person's or one family's experiences, as in an Intruders. The Alien Jigsaw is a data set with some perspectives by one who was literally there, and who does not force her impressions upon the reader. And these are only impressions, and the beginnings of tentative suggestions - Ms. Wilson is still searching for meaning, for at least themes, in her experiences, as her presentation at the Seattle 1995 MUFON Symposium shows.

A companion work, The Alien Jigsaw Researcher's Supplement, has a fuller treatment of her journal entries and engages in some efforts to systematize her encounter information. For instance, Wilson rates each such happening as positive, negative, or neutral, and then tries to find patterns and the overall percentages in these qualitatively-rated experiences.

-Bill Murphy ©1995

Michigan MUFON: http://mimufon.org/